Meditation - A path to truth
Meditation quiets your internal monologue, helps you think more clearly, and figure out whats true
Welcome to the 8 new Alive & Thriving people who have joined us since last Sunday! If you’re reading this but haven’t subscribed, be an early adopter of this growing community of humans looking to thrive by subscribing here!
In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you - Anonymous
Meditating regularly will change your life in a variety of ways, but in particular it will help you find truth. I know how that sounds (I even just read that sentence out loud to myself but I'm going to roll with it because I believe it). Here's why.
How Meditation Helped Me Learn Empathy
For the discovery of truth, there is no path...When you want to find something new, when you are experimenting with anything, your mind has to be very quiet, has it not? If your mind is crowded, filled with facts, knowledge, they act as an impediment to the new. - J. Krishnamurti
What I Mean By Truth And How It Differs From Knowing
The reason meditation is so powerful is it quiets the mind and trains your focus and your awareness. With a quieter mind, increased focus, and greater awareness, our ability to understand grows as well. This allows us to figure out what is true more easily.
One examples of how meditation has helped me see what is true has to do with empathy. I struggled with being empathetic when others were feeling unmotivated or sad. I knew this about myself and I tried really hard to be empathetic. I would read about what being empathetic was like and how you could show more empathy to others. Although, I KNEW what empathy looked like and how it showed up in practice, it did not actually make me more empathetic.
My Path To Empathy
As I meditated, I was able to better notice emotions that came up for me in different situations. In the past, I would think hard about what had made me feel a certain way and move forward quickly. Meditation encouraged me to sit with those emotions and to feel them. I'll be honest, this was new and uncomfortable, but in that process I felt emotions I could not remember feeling in a long time.
I was talking to a friend and coach about this development and he said something that rang so clearly and truthfully about how I related to emotions. He told me, often, a struggle for people that share similar traits to you is that they label emotions as unproductive and try to rationalize their way through everything they feel. In that moment I knew this was true of me and it gave me clarity over how I related to my emotions.
It brought me back 9 years to an important moment in my life where I was incredibly sad and I told myself "you have one day to be sad about this, then you have to figure out how to move forward". It was a powerful moment for me in that it propelled me onward, but it also created a relationship where I rationalized my way through all of my negative feelings vs. just feeling. It was obvious what kept me from understanding others when they felt sad, mad, or un-motivated. I did not allow myself to feel those emotions so how could I understand when others did?
We've all had this experience when all of a sudden "something clicks". You could have been told something 100 times, but one day it just makes sense. Meditation helps you get more clicks. It helps by quieting the mind, training focus, awareness, and creating a regular opportunity for introspection. Through meditation, you'll show up more for yourself and for others, you'll get some much deserved quiet, you'll get more clicks, and you'll feel better more of the time.
How I Incorporated Meditation Into My Life
I have always been fascinated by people that meditated but had never been able to develop a consistent meditation practice. I had tried twice and both times I would get too restless to continue.
When I would sit down to start meditating my thoughts would jump in immediately. Almost as if they were desperate to keep me company so I would not be alone in the silence. A typical meditation would go something like the following.
My Normal Failed Meditation Attempts
Sit Down To Meditate - Try to get comfortable. Fidget a bunch and finally settle
Find App, Procrastinate, Close Eyes - I'd procrastinate closing my eyes, check my phone a bunch. And then, would pump myself up (you got this!) and close my eyes.
4 Second of Complete Silence & Darkness - .......
A stray thought wanders into the silence → What am I going to do for lunch later?
Avalanche of thoughts follow → Idk but I want doritos. Definitely don't want to work out, feeling a bit tired. I should definitely work out though, had so much pasta yesterday. Its hot in here.
Fight The Thoughts→ Shut up thoughts. I got this. Focus on the breath. In, out. In, out.
The Floodgates Open → My breath is weird. Am I too focused on my breath? I think I'm doing breathing wrong. I wonder if Isa is home yet. She's going to say something while I'm meditating. I bet she'll tap me on the shoulder. It'll ruin the meditation. Will there be a dog?
Ok I'm Done Now → Ok, that was great, but I'm done. It's not for me.
The above was a standard meditation attempt as I tried to incorporate it into my life. After three or four of those attempts I would discard meditation and move on.
I decided to give meditation another shot (3rd time is the charm) after reading again about how it was a powerful tool and came highly recommended from all sorts of people I admired. Determined to actually try it out this time I committed to meditating daily for a period of at least 3 months to see if this was something I wanted in my life. The results have been extraordinary and the story I shared above is just one example.
Meditation Turns The Noise Down
Mindfulness allows us to live life fully. Fully aware, fully awake, fully alive - Headspace
One Benefit To Rule Them All - If you look online you'll get 800 reasons why meditation is helpful to you. As a result, I overlooked a benefit that makes meditation worth it on its own.
Meditation, for me, is all about turning down the noise in your mind. Every other benefit is a consequence of that one IMO. Everyone has ongoing chatter in their head. Right now as you read through this newsletter that noise in your head is reacting to what you read and experience.
We Are At The Mercy of Our Thoughts - Our minds are incredibly active and most of the time we are subject to the whims of our never ending tug of thoughts. ELEPHANT. RHINO. PURPLE. Even random words like those three trigger a response from your mind. It's kind of scary to think that your brain's focus is at the mercy of outside and random events.
Meditation Gives You Control - Meditation helps turns the noise in your head down, brings you into the moment, and allows you to be more present and consequentially more aware of life. Imagine you had a low beep in the background, all the time, and it suddenly stopped. You would feel this tremendous sense of relief realizing how much it affected you.
Mind Wandering vs. Mindfulness
Tons of studies have been done on this internal monologue and broadly speaking that noise or restless thinking that occurs in the brain is referred to as mind wandering.
Mindfulness is the opposite to mind wandering. It is the state of being fully aware, present, and engaged in the moment. This happens when the mind is no longer wandering or as is sometimes described, when the mind is quiet.
How A Quieter Mind Has Helped Me
Meditation is like a gym in which you develop the powerful mental muscles of calm and insight - Ajahn Brahm
Meditation has helped me feel better more often and learn more about myself everyday.
Challenges Meditation Has Helped Me With
Trapped Brain - You know when you start walking somewhere and all of a sudden it feels like you "woke up" 3 minutes into that walk. That happened to me a ton. I used to spend far too much time thinking about how a conversation with someone went or what I was going to do about a particular problem. I would miss what people were saying and enjoy moments less.
Restlessness - As a result of constant thinking, I've always had this urge to keep "making progress". As a result, I often would feel rushed and tense. If meetings got off track, I would feel myself bristle. If a particular conversation started to take too long I would get tense. If I spent too much time away from working on a particular goal I would get brusque with others.
Defensiveness - This shows up, in particular, when I've thought a lot about a particular problem and worked for a while on it, and I get feedback that "feels" like its not equally thoughtful. Often, instead of getting curious, I would explain my thinking again. This did not help me learn nor did it make the other person feel heard.
These behaviors are obviously not ideal in a number of ways. First and foremost, we're going to die and we already spend a huge portion of our lives sleeping. I don't need to give away another chunk of my life to my random thoughts. Next, restlessness and defensiveness are great ways to increase tension and stress, have less fun, and have a harder time connecting with people.
How Meditation Helped Me With Those Challenges
My brain feels quieter. All other benefits stem from this one. Basically, the constant buzz of thoughts have significantly diminished, which has allowed other things to happen.
Increased Calm & Tranquility - I feel calm and at ease far more often. This helps my overall sense of well-being. However, it also helps me think more clearly, enjoy myself more, be more creative, and get less triggered by what others say and do.
Greater awareness & presence - I am living more in the moment and spending less time trapped inside my head. This shows up as me being more immersed than ever in my conversations and my experiences. I experience far less lapses where I wander off into my head. I listen more deeply also. This has allowed me to have more fun, connect more strongly with others, and understand topics more quickly.
More Incisive & Creative - With the buzz of thoughts gone, I've been distracted less by random knowledge and found myself more clear and creative in my thinking. When the mind is quiet and calm you have more fun in your day to day. When you're having more fun it sparks creativity as your brain focuses on what else will bring it joy and delight.
Less Reacting, More Responding - It has helped me create space between a stimulus (someone saying something or doing something) and how I choose to respond. Meaning, instead of the instinctual reaction to get defensive I have the opportunity to choose to be curious or grateful or any other path that might serve me better in the moment.
Sleep Better and Relate Better to Others - With a greater sense of well-being and increased levels of presence you sleep more easily and funnily enough you get along better with others and your communication gets much stronger.
Nothing is perfect as a result of my meditation, but it is the single most important practice I've incorporated into my life given how it has helped me feel better.
How Meditation Changes Your Brain
Meditation, like other mental fitness strategies, essentially rewires your brain.
Increases White Matter In The Brain - This is the stuff that connects different parts of your brain. Meditating helps your brain communicate better across its different parts. Scientists think this is one of the reason meditation helps with emotional regulation and dealing with stress.
Increases Grey Matter - Meditators have increased brain mass in areas linked with attention, sensory awareness, body awareness, and visual processing. This may be another indicator of how meditation helps you stay more present and in the moment.
Smaller Amygdala - Regular meditators have also been shown to have smaller amygdalae, which is basically our internal fight or flight mechanism. This, in combination with stronger emotional regulation (increased white matter), may be one of the reasons why meditation helps reduce anxiety, stress, and lessen the intensity of other negative thought patterns.
Tips On Developing A Meditation Habit
Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement - James Clear
Start small - If you have a restless mind, meditation is particularly hard, and as a result, even more useful. Commit to doing just 1 minute, 2 minutes, or 3 minutes per day. Everyone can dedicate 3 minutes to themselves.
Use A Product You Like - I like Headspace because Andy's voice is epic (he's the guide). Here are some other apps you can try:
Solo Apps: Calm, 10% Happier, Mindstreaks, Insight Timer
Pro: Cheaper and you can do it whenever you want
Con: You're doing this on your own
Communal Classes: Journey Meditation, Chorus Meditation, Cloud Sangha, Sail
Pro: Connect with others, receive group support, and meet new people
Con: More expensive, time constraint on when you can do it
How To Hold Yourself Accountable
The Seinfeld Strategy: Use a habit tracker and try to create a massive unbroken streak. I am currently at 150 days of meditation in a row as of this writing and do on average 15 minutes daily. Some days I don't feel like meditating and it'll get pretty late, but I do it anyways because if I don’t I’ll ruin my streak. Also, if I'm not feeling it, I'll dial my meditation time down to something doable so I don't break my streak.
I used the Kin habit tracker to stay accountable.
Tell Other People: Make pacts with your friends to do something together. It's one thing to let yourself down, its a whole other thing to let your friend down that you have made an agreement with.
Spend some time with yourself
When self-improvement fails, work on discovering the truth - Naval Ravikant
Meditation is the most significant tool I've discovered this year. What helped me start meditating was the thought that I give so much time to my work, to my loved ones, and to other things in my life that I deserved to give myself 3 minutes every day.
There is so much opportunity for distraction today and its increasingly important to carve out space for yourself. People spend so much time on self-improvement and becoming more productive, which is great. However, the pursuit of anything, including changing yourself, is noisy. You spend a lot of time researching what to do and how to do it. Often times, the most effective way to find what you're looking for is to clear away all distractions and just pay attention to what is happening. When you understand what is going on, more often than not, what you're looking to accomplish becomes clear. I know that sounds fuzzy, but if you give meditation a try, after a month or two I think it will make more sense.
If anyone decides to do a 3 month meditation challenge hit me up and I am more than willing to be your accountability buddy 🙂 Thanks for reading as always.
Feedback Time 😁 - Share Your Thoughts
Would love your feedback (two questions only!) so I can better tailor this newsletter to you all in the future → Feedback Form
Lastly, if you enjoyed this newsletter you can use the link at the bottom to easily share it with others that you think would like it as well.
To Living Well,
Alvaro
Weekly Live Well Recs
Read(s) of the week 📖:
Book of Life by J. Krishnamurti - Read one passage each time you meditate. One of the most influential books I have ever picked
The Path to Peace is Truth - by Naval Ravikant - Short but powerful article.
Product(s) of the week 🍯:
Headspace - App is amazing.
Sail Weekly Guided Meditation - Sail is a wellness platform for men. They are hosting a weekly meditation series led by an expert practitioner for free! its a great place to have your first meditation experience.